And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
