I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
