She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
