if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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