I think I am morally bankrupt
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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