I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
