Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
