let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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