he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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