at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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