what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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