Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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