Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Randomize
