I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
