That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
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I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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