The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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