okay pat passed out under dana's car
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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