After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i will never coherently bang her
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
