He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
