my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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