DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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