Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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