some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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