Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
