I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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