it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
