drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
