then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
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It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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