What did we do last night that was yellow?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
