i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
