I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
