He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
