This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
