I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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