On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
