"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
