i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
