No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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