I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You pole danced in your parka.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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