is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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