Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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