Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
