This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
