I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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