i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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