hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
