do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
