sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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