I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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