Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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