he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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