Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
