ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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