Don't EVER smell your tampon
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize