On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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