i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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