I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am midnight drunk by noon
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
