I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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