Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
where am i from again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
